A brand new life .

Disclaimer : This post is filled with pictures .

Started secondary school filled with regrets . It was super sucky when it first started . I beared with it , move on , had fun , had fights . I left secondary school filled with regrets as well . Why did I only enjoy school when I'm about to leave ? Why didn't I enjoy right from the start ? Then I got my answer . I was naive , childish , self-centered , proud , etc . I grew as years went by .. I grew a lot . I've learned things the hard way . Having to be the outcast , and be treated like close friends .. It felt like shit . Really . People just pretend to be nice to you , and then what happens when you're not looking ? You're being criticised to the ends of the earth . How rough can is it ? A 13 year old naive girl entering her rebel period and has to go through all these rough shit . I had to go around without friends . Or rather , friends whom I think they are but are not . Being called act cute , act chio , bitch , flirt and all sorts of shit . I was 13 , how much do I know ? Secondary school was when I really start to feel the reality . I can no longer be like how I was at home . Being able to say what I want , having parents tolerating all my bullshit , venting anger as and when I want . I realise all these cannot be done anymore . Behaving like this ain't bringing me anywhere far , it's pulling me instead . I gotta start being humble by going to some clique and just ask if I can sit down . How pathetic huh ? Yes . They accepted me of course , it's rude to turn people down when it's so random . Being a fucking thick skin girl that time , I sat with that clique daily . And true enough , we ended up in the same class . 15 years old , sec 3 . That's when things are starting to take a change . I had friends , good ones , bad ones . At least I can say I had friends . Well .. Taurus is still a Taurus . My attitude came back when I''m getting comfortable with them . A year passed , misunderstanding came in again . Splitting came again , judgment interfered again . My friends , they changed again . During graduation night , we managed to patch things back . Well , a broken mirror will still have cracks no matter how expensive your glue is . Yes , there's a gap somewhere in between . Lucky enough , I had that one girlfriend who's willing to accept all of my shit . Josephine Ng . Yes , you . Thanks for making me at least , missed my secondary school . Oh , and my maths class friends , you guys are awesome too . Thank God Jo is in RP with me . I miss her so much .

My life took a turn after that 5 months of waiting . I didn't wanna wait . I was so looking forward to it . I wanna meet new friends . I wanna change how I started my secondary school life . I told myself , when I go to my camp , I gotta smile . No matter how much I dislike that person , smile first . Make friends . If I really dislike , fate will do it's job . True enough . I met these bunch of people . The moment I step into RP , I really felt the meaning of having friends . I guess I was too stupid to be with all those guys that I neglected my friends . I experienced eating with a great bunch of talking people , I experience having lunch outside school with a lot of funny people , I experience what it felt like to not be the outcast anymore . I experienced so much that I didn't in my secondary school life . For many , having friends to go out with during holiday is easy . To me , it's not . Not at all . I do not have those that I can really call no matter what . My contact list is just that limited . My closest friends are just what ? 3 ? They have their own life . Sorry my dear boyfriend for clinging to you . I hope it cleared your doubt on how much I need you to accompany me .

Now , I do not have to worry about going to lunch without friends . In RP , you gotta eat with your teams . Which means , no matter what , I gotta treat them well . I depend on them for my grades . I depend on them for company . I depend on them for laughter and joy . They are important to me . I've learned to put criticism aside . Maybe not 100% , but at least I can keep my anger , not showing , and still smile . Nobody is perfect . I understand . I'm trying my very best to not judge anymore . For those that I didn't really like , I put aside . Not gonna feel a thing anymore . Promise . Now , I know who to contact after school . I know who's most of the time there when I need them .

 I suppose you've met these awesome people .

These 4 people . They really showed me concern . One that I didn't felt before . They know when I'm down , when I'm up . They are some of the few that are so so so understanding . Without them , I couldn't start poly life so smoothly .

 Left , HanYi . She was the first girl , FIRST , to talk to me when I reach the hall to gather with my team mates . She was the first . Since she approached me , I like her , I stick to her . Toilet , lunch , tea break , dance , sitting down , she's always there . She's one that I can relate to . One that loves my boobs , opps . She's just so bubbly that I love to talk to her so much ! She's a pretty girl too , I can stare the whole day ~

Next , Jeremiah . First impression , big , build , fierce . But look at his expression ! How cute and adorable is he ? Though he is strong and tough physically , he is the type of guy that looks tough but soft inside . One thing I know for sure is he sure knows how to handle a girl . He is funny too ! I love to talk to him as well . To be honest , he's cute . Haha ! He sure knows how to stay fit , and he really needs to start giving me tips man !

Third , Jervase . Oh my . He is one nice guy ! Thanks for being so on ! With all his cares and concern , I really love his presence . It lights up my surroundings . He make me wanna talk more , wanna express myself more . He is the one where I can express myself fully , not fearing on how he'll view me. He allows me to vent my anger on him when he knows I need to . He knows when to talk and not talk to me . Thanks for the accompany from the first day of school up till now ~

Last , Samantha . She's the second girl that talked to me . Before she talked to me , she kicked my ass . Super pissed , I rolled my eyes at her . But now ? I found out that she is such a playful girl . She can be super loud sometimes that I feel like slapping her , but she's the kind that if you understand her jokes , you''ll enjoy her high-ness . She is so hyper that even I cannot keep up la . With her being high , the mood is up . When she's down . Woa . It feels weird ..

My poly life is filled with joy and happiness right now . It starts to make me feel that I gotta treasure them . I don't know if I'll lose them , but I know I don't want to lose them . I'm so afraid that they'll all have new classmates , they'll start hanging out , and then it's all over again .. I really don't want history to repeat . I'm still selfish , I want them to myself ~ Please continue staying in my life , staying so close to me , making me feel so loved . Please put up with my shit when I let it out , I apologise first . Please bear with me . With no rules , fun friends , caring family and my dear boyfriend , it's enough . I'm satisfied . I really wanna take a polaroid photo of my life right now . It'll be colourful , filled with balloons , candy and happy people .

I want all these to last .