There's always gonna be another mountain .

Overdue chubby photo -.-

Have you ever wondered why do I always pop you a question out of a sudden ? Have you ever thought of the reason ? It's all because I am anxious , and scared .. But what is my scared to you ? To you , scared = not trusting you , and it hurts .. I ask all those questions is because I am hiding my fear and sadness . But to you , I am being overboard .. But why ? Yah , I am those who keeps laughing , keep joking .. Yah , i don't care so much last time , but it's different case already .. Now , whatever you do , is my business , I care for you , for me , and for us . No matter how much i explain , you have your way of saying .. But have you wondered that I have my way of saying too ? You keep asking for my opinions , but when I say , you rebut me , so what's the point of asking me ? You just make me don't feel like voicing out in the future .. You understand ? Yes , indeed , you can ask me to promise you not to be scared , but can I say no ? Would i even bear to see that dull look on your face ? 

Now it's 11:34 , you ask me to tell me why I so sian . I wanna talk to you , I wanna tell you everything . But through all the rebuts , I have restrain myself from telling you , and keeping everything to myself . I dislike the feeling of not able to voice out , but what can i do ? I have to let you be happy , I don't wanna see the dull look on your face . And in love , there will not be both parties being happy at the same time . So in order to see that smile on your face , I gotta give up my laughter , bear everything .. 

I choose not to tell you on the phone .. But will you see this ? I hope you can understand how i feel .. But will you drop your tear ? Nobody can predict the future and people always change .. But you can't understand this .. I've been through too much that I really don't want it to happen again . I will try all my ways to make it not happen , but it seems like it's not working anymore . So it's time to stop being loquacious already ..