Making changed doesn't stop the pain from killing me , once there is pain , other than him , none can heal .

Hi guys , i skipped CCA today coz i sprained my toes , so poor thing . Actually , i dun really have the mood to post , go out or whatever ... I went out with the Zhiwei && co's yesterday , i was happy initially , but when i was left alone for awhile , i started thinking , && the pain is back .. I did not go for CG outing yesterday .. To say the truth , linhui was not there , so i did not go , coz i know i will surely be left out , always alone ... Maybe JunYuan will be by my side , but who else other than God ? 

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Let's change the topic ... I cnt go out today , coz i lied to my mum yesterday , && she found out ... Haix .. Whatever i say is sad thing leh , why no happy thing ? I know ! Happy thing is tomorrow is saturday !!!!!! Yes .. It's saturday , && i am sure to be happy . But when service ends , When we gather , i think the pain will be back . I am sure to cry in church tomorrow , maybe not during service , but after service (: Haha , crying everyday , why ?! 

Why isn't there any solution to die w/o having to be pain , suffer or whatsoever ?